The Thomas Crown Affair
*
Rated on a 4-star
scale
USA
Directed by John McTiernan
Written by Leslie Dixon and Kurt Wimmer
From a story by Alan R. Trustman, the screenplay for the 1968 film "The Thomas
Crown Affair"
CAST.....
Pierce Brosnan..... Thomas Crown
Rene Russo..... Charlotte Banning
Denis Leary..... Michael McCann
Ben Gazzara..... Andrew Wallace
Frankie Faison..... Paretty
Fritz Weaver..... John Reynolds
Charles Keating..... Golchan
Mark Margolis..... Knutzhom
Faye Dunaway..... Psychiatrist
Few film directors have been as talented as Norman
Jewison. Few leading ladies have been as sexy as Faye Dunaway. Few recent
decades have been as stylish as the 1960s. And nobody is, or will ever be,
as cool as Steve McQueen.
I think this makes a pretty good case for why
"The Thomas Crown Affair" was so special. It contained all the above elements
-- released in 1968, directed by Jewison, and starring McQueen and Dunaway.
The sizzling romantic crime pic had even more going for it, with its ingeniously
crafted heist, dazzling use of split-screen images, sexy chess game and
heartbreaking ending. Although it's not in the same league where quality
is concerned, it's one of those movies like "Casablanca", in the sense that
every specific part works so well the movie just can't be
remade.
The new version of "The Thomas Crown
Affair", from "Die Hard" helmsman John McTiernan, is even more pointless
than expected. How ironic that the surname of the heroine has been changed
to Banning -- the same thing happened to Peter Pan in "Hook", another mawkish
update of a classic story.
What "Thomas Crown Affair '99" shares with its
inspiration piece is a basic plot outline. Millionaire Thomas Crown (Pierce
Brosnan) is bored with corporate finance, and decides to get involved in
a robbery. In the original, money was being stolen, but here the swag's a
$100 million Monet painting, and in both films, the swindle leads to Crown
being chased by an insurance company's feisty investigator (Rene Russo).
Crown and this investigator get romantically involved, and both try to be
honest about their positions, even as they grow unsure about
them.
What "Thomas Crown Affair '99" loses from its
inspiration piece, to an extent that goes beyond inevitability and shows
sheer incompetence, is anything that made it worthwhile. All the features
I mentioned in my first two paragraphs are missing. The edgy, erotic,
rivalry-charged romance is gone, and replaced with the bizarre arrangement
of Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo hopping between flirting and cheap bickering.
In the first movie McQueen's bitter laugh said it all, but here we're given
tacky scenes with Crown explaining his loneliness to a psychiatrist. And
there is no more cool, intriguing ease of pacing, just action-movie
déjà vu -- while Jewison's film was careful to avoid the same
old rhythm, scene structure and problems and solutions of other movies, this
one goes to inordinate lengths to put the clichés back
in.
The movie is a total boondoggle. I didn't see
the point behind one single moment, and the only parts I remotely enjoyed
were the graphic, sweaty sex scenes. Even those would be better if we could
care about the characters, but unfortunately, Brosnan just can't win when
being asked to step in for Steve McQueen, and Russo -- who usually sparkles
-- gives a lifeless, obnoxious attempt at a performance.
I guess the Hollywood studios are even more determined
now than they were thirty years ago to feed the public the same old crap.
They probably are shameless enough to remake "Casablanca", and judging
by "Thomas Crown Affair '99", they'd do it without the war, the whisky, the
cigarettes, the piano-playing, the bon mots or the love affair. This is one
of the year's worst films.
COPYRIGHT© 1999 Ian
Waldron-Mantgani
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