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Bad Boys II
**
Cinema
Review - October 29, 2003
Rated on a 4-star scale. Certificate 15. USA.
147 minutes. Directed by Michael Bay. Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer. Written
by Ron Shelton, Jerry Stahl; from a story by Rob Shelton, Cormac Wibberley,
Marianne Wibberley; based on characters created by George Gallo. Starring
Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Jordi Mollà, Gabrielle Union, Peter Stormare,
Theresa Randle, Joe Pantoliano, Michael Shannon, Jon Seda, Yul Vazquez, Jason
Manuel Olazabal.
The "Bad Boys" movies are supposed to be about
two cops, but all I see is a pair of actors reading descriptions of their
characters. Martin Lawrence goes on about his wife and babies, and tells
Will Smith that he's a reckless damn fool playboy whose daddy set him up
with a trust fund. Smith stands there dressed like a reckless damn fool playboy
and tells Martin Lawrence he's a whiny old man. Add swear words, repeat,
repeat. This is not a script, it's a bunch of screenwriter's
notes.
These guys are supposed to know each other. They're
supposed to work together every day. And "Bad Boys II" is here
eight years after the first movie. But still, Mike Lowrey and Marcus Burnett
do not actually communicate; they reel off speeches about each other's aspects.
There's no familiarity. We don't see characterisation coming naturally through
the course of situations. A movie like "Midnight Run" can get away with a
line like "You have two forms of communication -- silence and rage!", because
it's about the process of two men getting to know each other. "Bad Boys"
is about people who go back years; they should be talking in funky shorthand,
not just screaming at each other with lists of personality
traits.
I think the filmmakers think that the actors will
just make it work. "Beverly Hills Cop" had Eddie Murphy in a serious role
and plot, and the result was an innovative mix of big studio comedy and violence.
"Bad Boys" played more like the sequels to "Beverly Hills Cop"; the one-liners
were flat and obnoxious, and the action wasn't fun. Michael Bay captures
everything with a constantly moving camera, in shots that never last more
than a few seconds and are lit with such gloss that it's like a wall between
us and the movie. It's pretty, but it's clinical, and the violence feels
ugly when it's trying to be exciting. Smith and Lawrence are loud and active,
but that doesn't add up to charisma when the director is rushing past them,
their eyes are glazed over and their moods are cycles of smugness and
anger.
"Bad Boys II" tries to deal with a few of my problems.
There's an early scene where Lawrence is having one of his rants, and Smith
mouths along word for word, like he's heard it all before. Bay has been accused
of making prick-waving movies, and here he winks at some of his critics by
having Lawrence complain about Smith's bravado, and tell him his posturing
is based on male insecurity. And the movie is two-and-a-half hours long,
giving it more time for scenes of breathing room and balancing the comedy
and action.
But I still wasn't convinced. I think of "Lethal
Weapon" and realise I felt like I knew those people. Here, I'm just watching
tacky attempts at riffs. It doesn't help that the bad boys get in such puerile
comic situations: In one scene Lawrence is undercover as an exterminator.
He sees two rats having sex, and we get a close-up of them graphically humping.
Later, there's an uncomfortable sequence in a mortuary where the partners
have to hide -- one of them gets under a sheet with the corpse of a blonde
bimbo, and the other has to remind him not to fondle her
breasts.
The action sequences are astonishing, but only
for spectacle. At one point there's a car chase on a Miami freeway; Smith
zips down the road at a few hundred miles per hour, playing dodge as the
villains throw cars in their path. Bay cranks up the sound so loud, and makes
the motion look so rattling, that we can't help being startled. But I couldn't
tell what was happening -- as much as the smashing noises held my attention,
I kept wondering just where the hell those cars were actually coming
from.
I haven't mentioned the story. There's probably
no need. It involves the heroes chasing a drug dealer, who lives in a mansion
and talks with an Eastern European accent and is slimy in an action movie
drug dealer sort of way. "Bad Boys II" is slick and fast, and that is its
substance rather than its surface. I wasn't disappointed, and the running
time flew by, but that's because I had such low expectations. Given that
these movies are supposed to be desensitising, maybe that makes it a
success.
COPYRIGHT©
2003 Ian Waldron-Mantgani
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