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"Boat Trip"

  
Boat Trip

**

Cinema Releases - October 4, 2002

Rated on a 4-star scale. Certificate 15. USA. 93 minutes. Directed by Mort Nathan. Written by William Bigelow, Mort Nathan, Brian Pollack, Mert Rich. Starring Cuba Gooding Jr, Horatio Sanz, Roselyn Sanchez, Vivica A. Fox, Roger Moore, Will Ferrell, Richard Roundtree, William Bumiller.


I watch the career of Cuba Gooding Jr with a kind of sick fascination. This is a guy who burst onto the scene with the emotion of "Boyz N the Hood" and followed it up by winning an Oscar for his comic energy in "Jerry Maguire". Now he has become one of the least reliable actors in Hollywood, as if someone gave him a lot of secret cash to prove that Academy Awards can ruin actors' paths.

Consider his last five pictures. "Snow Dogs" was not just bad family entertainment, it was bad family entertainment with Michael Bolton on the soundtrack. "Zoolander" and "Rat Race" are among the worst big-budget comedies to ever come out of Hollywood. The thriller "In the Shadows" hardly got a release: being honest, have you even heard of it? Before that was "Pearl Harbor", whose title is now notorious enough to speak for itself.

"Boat Trip" is not as embarrassing as the trailer leads us to expect it will be, but for Cuba, it is not exactly a step in the right direction. The film's premise involves two guys (Gooding, Horatio Sanz) who go on a cruise to meet women and end up -- you guessed it -- on a gay cruise. This idea is old in sitcomland. I actually have two friends who went on holiday and found themselves in the middle of a gay carnival; if their story was filmed realistically, I imagine it might have some laughs. This film is just an excuse to show two straight men get a bit embarrassed by "YMCA", before discovering women on the boat with whom they can fall in love, at the same time as learning some tolerance.

Before the opening credits have finished, we've already seen Cuba engage in conversation with his dog, puke on a woman's breasts and turn to the camera to perform funny faces and hyperactive dancing. Thankfully, things settle down. The general problem with "Boat Trip" is not desperation but too many obvious set-ups and pay-offs. When a female Swedish tanning team ends up having to climb onboard the cruise ship, and Sanz manages to get one of the girls to sleep with him, we know he's instead going to go into the room of their angry coach, because the movie has done a laborious job of showing how the mix-up comes about. Sanz enters the room, gets kinky, the coach beats him up, and we're not surprised. If we're not surprised, why are we expected to laugh?

As with all silly comedies involving homosexuality, there is a lispy faux-Puerto Rican queen prancing about the place and saying things like, "O! Ju naughtay boythz!" We also witness an ice-sculpture water fountain made to look like a collection of penises. Roger Moore puts in a cameo as a forthright rich guy who takes a liking to Gooding and Sanz, and suggestively licks sausages while talking to them. There's a very good scene involving a banana, but I'll leave that one to your imagination.

"Boat Trip" has such a lack of good jokes, and a premise that invites comedic disaster so openly, that I'm surprised I wasn't irritated by the movie too much. I sat blankly for most of the running time, laughed once or twice, and mainly found myself somewhat grateful that the filmmakers rarely attempted to go over the top. The things "Rat Race" will do to a guy's standards, eh? I mean, this movie must be pretty bad if even a Swedish tanning team can't earn it a good review.

COPYRIGHT© 2002 Ian Waldron-Mantgani


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