Love & Sex
*1/2
Rated on a 4-star
scale
Screening venue: Odeon (Bromborough)
Released in the UK by Inkpen on September 29, 2000; certificate 15; 82 minutes;
country of origin USA; aspect ratio 1.85:1
Directed by Valerie Breiman; produced by
Martin J. Barab, Timothy Scott Bogart, Brad Wyman.
Written by Valerie Breiman.
Photographed by Adam Kane; edited by Martin
Apelbaum.
CAST.....
Famke Janssen..... Kate Welles
Jon Favreau..... Adam Levy
Noah Emmerich..... Eric
Cheri Oteri..... Mary
Ann Magnuson..... Ms Steinbacher
Josh Hopkins..... Joey Santino
Adam: "How do you get on with your dad?"
Kate: "My dad died when I was twelve. He got hit by a car. I saw it happen
right in front of me."
Adam: "Oh my God... that's terrible!"
Kate: "Naw, just kidding. We get on fine!"
Uh huh. "Love & Sex" is another
one of those movies comprised of flashbacks to a relationship that the narrator
thinks had a great impact on her life. Since most young love follows the
same trajectory, this kind of structure was boring whenever it first appeared
in a movie, let alone now, when it's a whole sub-genre. This entry is worse
than most because its characters are so painfully insipid. Musings on the
voice-over contain such profundity as "With each new relationship, you pick
up baggage..." and "Love is painful, but we keep making the same
mistakes!"
The participants (I prefer the term 'culprits')
in the relationship under dissection are Kate (Famke Janssen) and Adam (Jon
Favreau). We fall in hate with them almost at first sight. She's a columnist
who can't write anything intelligent enough for her editor to accept, even
though she works for one of those trashy women's advice magazines with headlines
like "How to Keep That Perfect Man!' and 'Your Hips: The Real Deal!" Adam's
an artist who rents ninja porn movies and yet insists he has a "highly developed
dark side that most people aren't in contact with". You don't need to criticise
the dialogue in this movie. Quoting it will do the job.
The couple meet at an art exhibition where their
behaviour reveals them for the creeps they really are. Kate's date confides
to her deeply painful memories of his abusive childhood; she pretends to
be listening while rolling her eyes and looking around for someone else to
talk to. Adam, the arrogant little prick, goes up to the guy, makes highly
personal digs at him, and presumptuously asks Kate where she'd like to go
for dinner. She finds this charming.
Adam kisses like a twelve-year old practising
on a melon, and with his obese physique, piercingly whiny voice, haircut
of creepy fuzz and ridiculous half-beard, seems to be modelled on the
stereotypical image of a paedophile. Kate obsesses over death and spews
pretentious adolescent drivel like "I like being depressed.... it makes me
feel deep and introspective."
This is another one of those films with luvvy-duvvy
early scenes that give way to predictable manufactured crises and fights,
a breakup, a series of mournful scenes where the lovers miss each other,
and then a cathartic reunion. I didn't appreciate that in "Down to You",
where the characters had some life about them; I sure as hell don't like
it here, where we get two of the biggest morons on the planet. "Love &
Sex" has slick production values, some playful moments, and a great cameo
by David Schwimmer, but if you pay attention to it, you just gotta cringe.
Movies like this are the reason why "High Fidelity" was so
impressive.
COPYRIGHT© 2000 Ian
Waldron-Mantgani
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