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Patch Adams
*1/2
Rated on a 4-star
scale
USA
Directed by Tom Shadyac
Written by Steve Oedekerk
Based upon the book "Gesundheit: Good Health is a Laughing Matter" by Hunter
Doherty Adams with Maureen Mylander
CAST.....
Robin Williams..... Hunter "Patch" Adams
Daniel London..... Truman
Monica Potter..... Carin
Philip Seymour Hoffman..... Mitch
Bob Gunton..... Dean Walcott
Josef Sommer..... Dr. Eaton
Irma P. Hall..... Joletta
One or two of my readers have written to proclaim
their love for "Patch Adams" -- it's sweet and funny, they've
told me, and one even found it moving. How disheartening. The film is not,
as some critics have made out, the obvious worst movie of the year, but it
is a phoney and off-putting piece of nonsense. To think that anyone can be
taken in by it is as embarrassing as seeing tourists lose money to
three-card-monte dealers.
It's the story of a real doctor, Hunter "Patch"
Adams. As the movie opens, in 1967, Patch (Robin Williams) has checked into
a mental institution due to suicidal depression. Patch explains his feelings
by way of some pretentious ramblings on the voice-over, throwing in the odd
dictionary definition or Dante quote. The shameless score by Marc Shaiman
plays loudly, to make sure we care.
At the institution, Patch finds that the doctors
don't help anyone, and nothing gets done. But when he himself, performing
some funny-man antics, gets his fellow patients to run around giggling, or
go to the toilet, Patch smiles his annoying smile and decides that he should
become a doctor. This movie's portrait of a mental institution is hideously
goofy, considering it wants us to take it seriously, but nonetheless, the
shameless score by Marc Shaiman plays loudly, to make sure we
care.
In medical school, Patch decides that the Dean,
Dr Walcott (Bob Gunton), is evil, and his ideas about rules and professionalism
are uptight. Patch laments at how he has to constantly memorise facts, and
says it's not what being a doctor is about -- "Treat the person as well as
the disease!" He convinces Truman (Daniel London) and Carin (Monica Potter)
to cheer him on as he plays vulgar pranks on Dean Walcott and cheers up the
patients by dancing for them wearing a clown nose on his face or bedpans
on his feet. In one weird scene, he ends a woman's refusal to eat by filling
a paddling pool full of spaghetti and dancing in it. She laughs, and jigs,
and eats -- the shameless score by Marc Shaiman plays loudly, to make sure
we care.
Patch, Truman and Carin eventually set up a clinic
in the middle of nowhere, where any number of any kind of patients can come
for free and be magically treated by one of the three buddies. This is, of
course, after Patch has had a big corny meditation at the top of a mountain,
where he talks to God, and somehow comes to the conclusion that he's nobler
than that supreme being. Those nasty people who follow the law try to lock
Patch up for practising medicine without a licence, but he makes a moving
speech, and little leukaemia-patient kids run into the courtroom applauding
him. The shameless score by Marc Shaiman plays loudly, to make sure we
care.
As you might have guessed by now, "Patch Adams"
is full of scenes where we roll our eyes and say "gimme a break!" In its
glossy, manageable little bites, it does such things as hide the fact that
the real Patch Adams is gay, pandering to saps who don't like to confront
such issues as homosexuality. This also allows a romance with Carin., and
an "and then I met you..." speech. And the nickname "Patch" refers to how
Adams is always fixing problems. And when all the other doctors make patients
cringe, Patch can always make them smile. Aww...
"Patch Adams" has many ridiculous philosophies
about how doctors ought to be. They're such phoney attempts at manipulation
because they don't make sense -- if we look at the little leukaemia kiddies,
and listen to that damned score, then we'd be moved, and be nodding, but
anybody who pays the slightest bit of real attention could point out a reason
behind everything Patch decries. Why can't medical students see patients
before the third year of school? Because they have to learn something first
-- not everybody has Patch's unique gift for instantly memorising medical
facts. Why are patients referred to by their disease instead of their name?
Because their name is somewhat irrelevant, and isn't being treated. Why should
hospital visitors have to disclose their name and relation to a patient before
seeing them? Because otherwise there'd be strangers marching into hospital
rooms. Why can't Patch run a clinic without having a degree in medicine?
Jeez, I wonder...
About that clinic -- similar problems arise. How
do patients get there? Who benefits from the clowning around, when they need
medicine? And if the clinic is supposed to be some sort of example to other
doctors, then how would the rest of these clinics be funded? Not all
practitioners are like Patch, with a millionaire friend prepared to run a
free private hospital.
People give Patch objections like the ones I've
given, but he always changes the subject. When he's told "You can't have
a life without limits", he responds "I love the back of your neck". This
movie loves to bring up issues, side-track, and then pretend that it won
the argument. The USA undoubtedly has an evil healthcare system -- if you
can't pay, you die -- but while the Clintons may offer solutions, "Patch
Adams" just has some smarmy grinning and silly noises.
COPYRIGHT© 1999 Ian
Waldron-Mantgani
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